The Girlfriend Request Page 13

  His eyes locked on mine for a fraction of a second. Usually so good at reading him, this time, I was clueless.

  “Yeah, okay. We don’t have drills today because of getting out early, so I’m leaving right after dismissal. If you meet me by my car, I’ll give you a ride home.” He paused. “We can talk then. Does that work for you?” His voice was cool, polite. It ripped me to shreds, but at least he was speaking to me.

  I nodded, “That’s fine. I’ll see you then.”

  But he’d already turned away.

  Sarah stood over by the tray drop, waiting for me with a disapproving expression. “You’re making this all worse,” she said as I approached and deposited my tray on top of the tilting stacks in the gray bin.

  “Sarah, please. Can you try to understand? This is Eli we’re talking about. I can’t ignore him and pretend none of this happened. I already get that I screwed things up, okay?” Tears welled up, and I fought to keep them at bay in the crowded cafeteria. “I did this. Me.” I slammed my palm against my chest so hard it stung. “I know everything that happened the past couple of weeks is my fault, but now I have to at least try to fix it, try to explain to him that I wasn’t doing it to be a bitch.” I trembled.

  “I’m sorry. You’re right.” Sarah reached out and tugged on my sleeve, maneuvering me toward the double doors leading from the cafeteria to the hallway. “Come on, let’s go to the bathroom and get you fixed up.”

  A tear crept down the side of my face, despite my best efforts to hold it back. Please don’t let him be looking. I forced a fake smile, and nodded, walking as fast as I could without looking like a complete fool trying to escape humiliation.

  “Almost there,” Sarah whispered. “Just talk to me. I don’t care what you say. You don’t want to give Eli or those guys anything to talk about.”

  I nodded again, and began reciting the alphabet half under my breath in Sarah’s direction, hoping it appeared to anyone looking our way like we were have a completely normal conversation. I’d become adept at idiocy.

  Just when I thought I was safe, the door only steps away, a sickeningly sweet voice behind me called out, “Oh, Emma! Here, do you need a tissue?” Followed by titters. Carissa. Of course.

  Normally, I would ignore the taunting, but I was past that point. I turned, facing the other girl head-on. Carissa dangled a Kleenex in my direction, smile mocking. Her eyes glinted sharply, like a snake right before it strikes.

  Instead of allowing myself to feel intimidated, I reached out and grabbed the Kleenex. Before I could stop myself, I shoved it down the front of Carissa’s low-cut baby-doll T-shirt. “There. I figured you can add this to your fake boobs, Carissa. You know, less danger of puncturing one if you use protection.”

  A snort burst out of Sarah, before turning into a full-fledge laugh.

  “And just so you know? You’re the one who doesn’t have a shot with him. You’re the joke.”

  Carissa’s china-blue eyes widened, false lashes expanding out to look like some alien tarantula. Her mouth formed a giant “O,” but nothing came out.

  Sarah and I turned and walked away, ignoring the amused looks on the students around us. “That was epic!” Sarah cheered, giving me the thumbs up.

  “The look on her face was priceless.” She shook her head. “Damn girl, you’ve finally grown a set of balls.”

  Cheeks flushed, I giggled as I walked toward my locker, a mixture of pride and fear encompassing me. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done it. She’s really going to have it in for me now, especially saying that about Eli to her.”

  Sarah shrugged. “So what’s new? She’s always been jealous of you two, I told you that for years. At least now she knows you aren’t going to sit back and take it anymore.”

  “I guess.” I turned the combination on my locker, anxious for the day to be over. There was just final homeroom to get through. “I didn’t even get a chance to tell you. I’m meeting Eli after school. He said he’d give me a ride home and we could talk.”

  The bell rang, signaling students had three minutes to get to their classrooms. Sarah raised her eyebrows. “Well, call me afterward. I wanna know how it goes.”

  “I will.”

  “And sweetie?” She paused, concern etching her features before she shook her head. “Never mind.” She offered a quick wave as she sped off to get to her own locker and make it to end of day homeroom before the late bell.

  As students milled around me, laughing and talking, I rested my head against the closed locker. The metal was cool against my still-flushed skin. Now I only had to figure out what to say to Eli. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a clue where to begin.

  Eli sat behind the wheel, fingers drumming absently, as I walked toward his car after classes. He looked as nervous as I felt.

  My stomach churned like the time I had a bad flu last spring. Things had changed so much between us, and it was all my fault. This wasn’t at all what I’d imagined when I plotted the whole thing out weeks ago. In my mind, we would have been closer than ever by now. We were supposed to be telling each other how happy we were that I’d brought us together in between heated bouts of kissing. It hadn’t gone down even close to that scenario.

  Shifting my book bag off my shoulder until I held the wide straps in my hand, I licked my lips and rapped on the window lightly before opening the car door. His hands paused beating the tempo on the steering wheel, and he looked up. Just seeing his familiar face sent my heart racing.

  “Thanks for the ride,” I said, sliding in and stuffing my bag on the scuffed floor mat between my feet.

  His eyes followed my movements. “Sure,” he said, voice low. It was clear he felt as uncomfortable with the situation as I did.

  After I closed the door and put on my seatbelt, I stilled, wishing there was something to do with my hands to cover the awkwardness. I cleared my throat when Eli simply sat back, also not moving. “Um…should we go?” I asked.

  “Oh, yeah.” He turned the key in the ignition and pulled forward, nearly mowing over a student walking in front of his car in the process. Slamming on the brakes, he pressed his lips together, muffling a curse. “Sorry about that.” He glanced my way.

  “It’s okay.”

  This was worse than I thought. It was clear neither of us knew how to bring up what was on both of our minds.

  He looked ahead, pulling out much more slowly this time. I tried to come up with a good way to start the conversation.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  A muscle in his jaw twitched, but he said nothing.

  “Eli, please.”

  His head jerked slightly in my direction. “Please what, Em? Please say it’s all okay? Please understand why you made up a profile and pretended to be some girl rather than just talking to me?” His hands clenched on the wheel. “Or, maybe, please be cool with you flaunting some strange guy in front of me who you’re now suddenly dating.” He met my stare for a moment. “So tell me, Em. Please what?”

  The breath whooshed out of me at the pain and anger in his tone. I wasn’t sure how to respond to all he’d thrown at me.

  He rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. “Why, Em? Just tell me why. I don’t understand any of this. I don’t.”

  What had I done? How could I have ever caused this rift between the two of us? I felt sick, really and truly sick at the mess I’d caused, at the pain in his eyes. Could it be that Sarah was wrong, that Eli really returned the feelings I’d held for so long? What if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life by agreeing to go on the date with Jake?

  The buildings and people we passed driving home were a blur. The only thing that mattered was what was happening right here in the car…with Eli.

  “How did you know it was me?”

  He snorted. “Please. That first night when you almost took off my fingers, I saw the profile before you slammed your computer lid down. I was pretty sure it was ‘Kelli’s.’” He made air quotes with one hand. “That seemed weird, since I hadn’t even told yo
u about it. But, at first I thought maybe you noticed I added her and you were checking it out.” He rolled his eyes. “But then, little things you said here and there seemed off. Plus, the profile was just a little too much like you.”

  Silence fell.

  “Who’s the guy?” he finally asked.

  “A roommate of Sarah’s brother. They go to school together.”

  He nodded slowly. “And what? You two are suddenly going out?”

  “Well…” I stopped. “It’s kind of hard to explain.”

  He turned onto our street. “How hard can it be? Are you dating?”

  I swallowed. “Look, can we talk about the rest of this inside?”

  Nodding, he slid into his driveway and shut off the car. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered. “I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

  “Eli. It’s not like that.”

  “Really? Then what is it like?” He yanked the keys out of the ignition.

  I reached out, tentatively, then dropped my hand. “Can we go inside?”

  He nodded again, and sighed. “Yeah. Look, I’m sorry. I’m …” He shook his head. “I don’t even know for sure what I am right now.” He stared vacantly out the windshield. “Do you want to come in or go to your place?”

  “Whichever you want is fine.” I was afraid to say too much, to jinx the tentative road to restoring things between us that seemed to exist right now.

  “How about I’ll go in and check Vader, then I’ll be over in about ten minutes?”

  “Sounds good.” I paused. “And Eli?” He looked up at me, his eyes searching out my own. “Thank you.”

  He smiled, a soft, sad smile like he knew something I didn’t. He only nodded before turning to get out of the car.

  Well, it was a start anyway. We’d obviously have a lot of talking to do. Hopefully, it wouldn’t make things any worse. I didn’t see how it could.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Emma

  When I walked into the house, I listened for my dad. No discernable noises came from his office. He usually had the radio set low to a jazz station when he was in there. No sign of my mom either, although she usually got home an hour or so after me, since she stayed after school to finish up paperwork.

  It was probably better this way, no chance of either of them popping in the room while Eli and I talked.

  Dumping my stuff at the bottom of the steps, I wandered into the kitchen to grab something to drink. My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten much at lunch. Reaching out to open a cabinet, I rooted through the contents trying to figure out what I wanted to take upstairs for us to snack on. In the midst of reaching for a packet of popcorn, a wave of nostalgia hit. We always ate popcorn on movie nights. Maybe the talk would go better than expected and we could have one tonight to make up for missing it on Sunday.

  Tonight.

  I was supposed to be going out with Jake tonight. I’d promised to call or text him when I got home. He’d mentioned about maybe getting together in the afternoon since there was only a half-day today at school. What if he decided to show up and Eli was still here?

  I frantically felt for my phone in my jeans pocket, but it wasn’t there. Running back over to the landing, I ripped open the front pocket of my book bag, searching for the phone. I found it stuffed between a paperback copy of The Fault in our Stars and Hamlet. I pulled it out, pressing buttons wildly, willing him to pick up, and fast. I walked over to the front window and peeked out, hoping Eli didn’t show up early.

  Just as I was about to hang up, thinking he wasn’t going to answer, his cheery hello sounded in my ear.

  “Jake! Hey, it’s me, Emma.”

  “Hey, beautiful. I was waiting for your call. Sorry it took me so long to pick up, I was in the middle of trying to wash oil off of my hands. I was helping Tony—”

  I interrupted him, feeling awful about being so rude, but nervous that I was running out of time. “Jake, I’m sorry, but I have something I have to do right now that just came up, so I might not be able to call you to figure out what’s going on tonight until later.” My words came out rushed.

  “Okay,” he said slowly. “Is everything all right?”

  I could hear the confusion in his voice, and I didn’t blame him. Doing this to him after yesterday…I was a grade-A bitch.

  “Everything’s fine. I just…I have to do something right now.”

  When he spoke again, his voice was slightly cooler than before. “Emma, if you’ve changed your mind, that’s fine. You can tell me.”

  “No, it’s not that I’ve changed my mind. It’s only, I have to…” I trailed off, feeling awful for admitting what I was doing.

  “Let me guess. This has something to do with your neighbor, doesn’t it?” He didn’t sound angry, just resigned.

  “I need to talk to him. That’s all.” I was the biggest creep in the world. All I did anymore was make everyone mad, or hurt. “Please try to understand.”

  “I do. Maybe better than you realize.”

  I peeked out the window again. Eli still hadn’t come out of his house.

  “Why don’t you call me when you’re done. Let me know if you still want to get together, okay?”

  I definitely felt like a shit.

  Nodding even though he couldn’t see me, I answered, “I will. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.”

  “I’m not. I hope you figure out whatever you need to.” He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was soft, and held a world a meaning in two simple words. “Bye, Emma.”

  “Bye.” But he was already gone.

  The whole thing was turning into such a mess. I didn’t know what to do, or what to think. Did I want to still go out with Jake? Or was he just a distraction since I couldn’t have Eli? I was so confused.

  Part of me felt awful about pushing Jake away, even though I’d promised to call him later. He’d been nothing but nice to me. He made me feel special, pretty. He was fun to hang out with, and he made me laugh.

  On the other hand, well…it was Eli. He’d always been there for me, through the good and bad. He helped me bury my pet goldfish when I was nine, and went with me to visit Nana and Pap, and he…well, he was like my other half. I couldn’t imagine walking away from that. And somehow I couldn’t see things staying the same between the two of us if I actually went through with going on a date with someone else.

  But maybe they aren’t supposed to. Maybe things aren’t supposed to stay the same.

  I pushed aside the niggling doubt trying to force its way into my mind. I couldn’t bear to think about that right now.

  Stuffing the phone into my back pocket, I went back into the kitchen to put the popcorn I had left on the counter back into the cupboard. I was pretty sure we wouldn’t be needing it. Sighing, I turned to the refrigerator and opened it. Milk, water, OJ, and a few cans of soda. I reached in and grabbed two Dr. Peppers.

  Just as I turned to head to my room, the front door opened. It was probably him. Neither of us felt the need to knock at each other’s houses anymore after years of coming and going between them.

  I called out, “I’m in the kitchen!”

  Footsteps approached, and then he was standing in the doorway. My heart lurched seeing him. The same familiar pull I experienced every time he entered a room hit me.

  His jeans were faded, nothing fancy. He’d changed his shirt. I noticed he didn’t have the jersey with the mustard stain anymore. Instead, he was wearing one of my favorites, a black fitted T-shirt that showed off his abs to perfection.

  I gulped. Did he know how much I liked him in that? Was that why he wore it? Telling myself that I was reading way too much into him simply changing his shirt, I willed my heartbeat to slow back down to a normal rhythm.

  “Here.” I abruptly shoved a can of soda in his direction.

  He cocked his head, studying me. “Um…thanks.” A faint smile crept over his features, and when he reached out to accept it, his fingers brushed mine on the cold can. I jerked my h
and back as if I’d been stung, and the soda flew to the ground. It bounced twice before rolling a few feet away to rest under the bottom ledge of the counter.

  He raised his eyes from the can to look at me. His scrutiny caused me to hold my breath. I expelled it when I realized what I was doing. “I’m sorry. That was an accident.”

  His smile was back, accompanied by a twinkle in his eyes. “I figured.”

  “Here, let me get you another. That one will probably explode if you try to open it.” I turned to head toward the refrigerator again, anything to keep him from seeing how flustered I felt.

  A hand on the side of my waist stopped me. I completely froze. Every cell in my body glowed, vividly aware of the feel of his hand, his fingers just a breath away from touching my bare skin where my shirt didn’t quite meet my jeans. Tingles spread from my waist through my hip and shot in pathways over my entire body. My mouth became a scorched desert.

  “Em.” His voice was low, husky, filled with emotion.

  Just my name. That’s all he said, and it was enough. I didn’t even need more words at that point, but I couldn’t turn around, couldn’t look at him, afraid too much would show on my face—everything I’d felt for so long.

  The pressure on my waist increased, pulling me around. As I turned, his hand dropped, only to be replaced on my other hip once I faced him. He didn’t move closer, he still stood an arm’s reach away, but his hand against my right hip burnt through my jeans. I might as well have been naked for how exposed I felt.

  I reminded myself to breathe and stared at his sneakers. One frayed lace was loose.

  “Why won’t you look at me?” His voice was soft.

  I closed my eyes and shook my head.

  He sighed. “Come here.” He stepped closer, getting rid of the extra space between us. A fraction of a second later, he reached both of his strong arms around my shoulders and pulled me to him. His heartbeat pounded against my chest. He held me tight, running a hand through the hair spilling down my back.

  Unable to resist, I wrapped my arms around his neck and allowed myself to fall into the moment, to feel his strength, his comfort, his caring. I rested my head against his shoulder, breathing him in.