The Girlfriend Request Read online

  On the front step was a single, pale pink rose with a white ribbon trailing from the long stem. Stapled to the ribbon was a small card. I looked around, but didn’t see anyone. Bending down, I picked it up, and almost couldn’t believe it when I read my name printed in a small, neat script in the center of the card.

  It was for me. I’d never received flowers before. Well, a few times from my parents, but that wasn’t the same as a rose being left on my front porch.

  Shaking slightly, I opened the small envelope. I peeked around again to make sure I was still alone. Heart skipping in my chest, I read the words written for me. There were only three.

  You are beautiful.

  My eyes widened and I sucked in a breath. I quickly turned the card over, but the back was blank, no signature. No way of knowing who left it for me.

  Tilting my head, I drew the flower to my nose and inhaled deeply. It smelled of delicious excitement, of all the romance I’d only previously read about and imagined. It was intoxicating and all mine. I held the pale rose against my chest, careful not to touch any of the thorns on the stem. The ribbon tickled my hand where it flowed down.

  Someone had left me a rose, and called me beautiful. I couldn’t stop the wide grin from spreading across my face.

  It had to be from Jake. After all, he’d said that to me last night, and Eli had certainly never felt the need to leave me flowers in any of the ten years we’d known each other. Not even on my birthday.

  Then again, Eli heard Jake say that. Maybe he really did care, and this was his way of finally telling me that. Maybe he really did get jealous seeing me with someone else, which made him realize he liked me as more than a friend.

  The unfamiliar handwriting didn’t necessarily mean anything; the florist may have filled out the card.

  After all, if it was from Jake, I would have heard his car. Right?

  The mere fact that I had more than one possible flower-giver made me giddy, until practicality set in, and panic washed over me. If I didn’t know who it was from, how was I supposed to know who to thank? Why hadn’t the person signed the card?

  I turned back to the house, planning to put the rose in a vase of water. A movement from the corner of my eye caught my attention.

  Eli stood at his open bedroom window, watching me. I froze, waiting to see what he’d do, if he’d give a sign that he’d left the rose. About fifteen seconds passed, although it seemed longer, but he didn’t motion to me, or call out.

  It felt as though a piece of me I’d held on to tightly for almost as long as I could remember was starting to crack.

  Finally, he gave a sad smile, dropped the curtain, and disappeared.

  Later that night as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, a million thoughts raced through my mind. Who sent the rose? What was going on between Eli and me? How did I feel about Jake? It was so much to process. And to think just a few weeks ago, I didn’t have anything close to these kind of problems. In a way, life was simpler then, but I couldn’t deny this was kind of thrilling too.

  I’d finally told my parents about going out with Jake. I sort of had to since they saw the rose and wanted to know who it was from. So did I.

  At first, they were a little upset about the fact that I’d gone out on a date without telling them, especially since they didn’t know Jake. But after I explained how Sarah’s family knew him well, they’d calmed down. They still weren’t crazy about the idea, especially since he was nineteen and I didn’t turn seventeen for several months, but they said I could date him again as long as they met him first.

  I wasn’t even sure if I was going to go out with him again, so their rule was fine with me. If I did see him again, I had no problem introducing him. If not, well, then there was nothing to worry about.

  It totally sucked not knowing who sent the rose. If a guy was going to give a girl a flower, the least he could do was sign his damn name to the card.

  Eli had finally messaged Kelli back. He didn’t say much. Just that he understood, and hoped she was happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

  Sighing, I flipped over and punched my pillow a few times. Obviously, my problems wouldn’t solve themselves any time soon, and I needed sleep. I was sure to run into Eli the next day at school. I would just read his cues and go from there. That’s all I could do.

  But somehow, the last image that passed through my mind before I finally drifted off to sleep wasn’t of Eli, but of Jake…leaning in to kiss me.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Eli

  “Hey.”

  Emma stood half buried in her locker. She spun, eyes widening into chocolate orbs when she saw me. Dark smudges beneath them hinted that she hadn’t slept well, either. I wondered if she’d been up late talking to Jake, or if maybe…just maybe…she’d been thinking about us. Like I had.

  “Hey.” She smiled back, and a rush of relief shot through me hearing her voice. I’d missed talking to her.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve been a jerk. I …” I scuffed a sneaker against the floor and ducked my head. It felt awkward. Not sure what to do with my hands, I shoved them in the back pockets of my jeans, then realized that probably looked dumb and took them out again.

  “I’m sorry, too,” she said quietly. “I should have never yelled at you last week.”

  “So, you and that guy, huh?” I looked straight at her, hoping to find some kind of answer in her eyes. We’d always been able to read each other so well. Before.

  She didn’t say anything right away…and her silence, and the pain in her eyes…spoke volumes.

  My chest tightened, chains wrapping around my heart, cutting off all of my air.

  “We went out on one date,” she finally managed.

  It didn’t matter. I still knew her. I knew Emma well enough to know the words she wasn’t saying, and the thing was, I couldn’t blame her. I’d taken her for granted, waited too long. And the fact that I could see in her eyes that she didn’t want to hurt me made me love her all the more.

  It slammed into me.

  I loved Emma.

  I closed my eyes for a moment. When I looked at her again, I fought to hide my pain, but I needed to know. “Do you like him?” My smile probably came across as half-hearted despite my best efforts.

  She tucked a curl behind her ear, and it was all I could do to stop myself from reaching out to touch it. “It was just one date,” she whispered, repeating herself.

  “But you can’t answer my question,” I pointed out softly. “It’s okay, I guess I don’t really have the right to ask that anymore.”

  I needed to let her go. She deserved that. She deserved to be happy, no matter how much it ripped me apart inside. I turned away, then stopped and looked back and looked in her beautiful eyes, which were starting to fill with tears. Guilt, pain, regret—they all clawed at my heart, and I desperately wanted to turn back the clock to the time when things were still right between us.

  I couldn’t stop myself, I tucked a curl behind her ear. I needed to run my fingers through her hair one last time. The pain in my chest was unbearable, but I knew I couldn’t hold on if it wasn’t what she wanted.

  “I do hope you’re happy, Em.” And I meant it. I turned away for good then. As I walked away, I said so quietly that I doubt she even heard me, “Even if it’s not with me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Emma

  I didn’t know what to say. After all, going out with Jake had just been to get Eli jealous. But somehow I wasn’t entirely sure that was all it was anymore. The past week Eli had ignored me and made me feel like I didn’t matter to him. I’d begun to wonder if maybe Sarah was right, that Eli really did just like having me around, some kind of adoring fangirl that he knew was always there. And I hated even thinking that way.

  But the pain I’d seen in his eyes tore me up inside. And when he’d said that…

  Now wait. Why did that sound so familiar?

  It hit. That’s what he’d said to Kelli. Was it coincidence that he’d
said the same thing to both of us, or…I blanched.

  “Eli! Wait!” My voice cracked and I prayed he’d hear me before he turned the corner and went into his classroom.

  If he heard, he didn’t acknowledge it, or turn around.

  I slammed my locker door, and raced after him. I didn’t care if I was breaking the “No Running in the Halls” rule. I dodged between groups of students coming the other way.

  He was too far away.

  “Eli, please, wait!”

  Other kids turned around to stare. Several folders began shifting in my arms, until they finally fell to the ground around me, papers flying everywhere.

  “Miss Kurtz!” A loud voice boomed through the hallway, calling my name. I ignored it. Reaching a hand out to balance myself against the wall so I didn’t go flying, I spun around the corner, scanning for his dark head among the dozens of other students.

  I finally spotted him as he entered Ms. Mills’ classroom. I was too late.

  Tears threatened as I leaned against the poster-covered wall—giant signs with hearts and glitter inviting juniors and seniors to Party at the Prom. Just seeing such a vivid reminder of what everyone else had that I didn’t made me angry. I tore one down before slowly sliding down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I buried my head against my knees, finally allowing the tears to fall.

  He knew I was Kelli.

  It made sense. So many of the comments he’d made. To me and to “Kelli.” How could I have been so freaking blind?

  I sniffled, and wiped tears with the palm of my hand, not caring in the least that I was making a spectacle of myself.

  And knowing Eli, he just didn’t say anything at first because he didn’t want to make me feel weird about the whole thing. I clenched my fists in my hair, wanting to scream at myself. I’d completely ruined my chance with him. He’d never forgive me. He had to think I’d been playing some stupid, twisted game with his feelings. Pretending to like him.

  He’d have every right to think I was a liar who used people. And how I’d acted with Jake right in front of him…rubbing it in his face. I lowered my tear-streaked face back down on my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs.

  A ball of wadded up paper bounced off my head, followed by high-pitched laughter and retreating footsteps. I barely even noticed.

  A firm hand grasped my shoulder. “Miss Kurtz, follow me please.”

  Lifting a tear-stained face, I saw Mr. Rogers, the miserable old History teacher, towering above me.

  Wiping my cheeks, I slowly stood up and wordlessly allowed him to lead me to the school office.

  Principal Berger folded his hands in front of him on the wide desk. Serious eyes stared down at me as I sat in one of the uncomfortable metal chairs across from him.

  “Miss Kurtz, Mr. Rogers told me you were running and yelling in the halls this morning. Plus you were throwing folders around.” He paused, fingers now forming a steeple. “Your behavior as of late is concerning to me. A few weeks ago, you left school grounds without permission. I let that go, since your mother assured me she would speak to you about it.”

  I said nothing, tapping one foot restlessly. It was hard to maintain eye contact when all I wanted to do was go home and cry.

  “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” His voice was firm, although I also caught an undercurrent of concern.

  I shook my head.

  “Emma, if there is something going on, I’d like to help. You’re a strong student, and we’ve never had any issues with you in the past.”

  “I wasn’t throwing folders around,” I finally responded.

  “What?”

  “I said I wasn’t throwing folders. They fell.” I looked up.

  After standing up behind the wooden desk, the principal came around to sit next to me in the second metal seat.

  “Is there anything you want to tell me? Help me to understand?” His warm brown eyes were kind, almost grandfatherly. Gone was the stern disciplinarian of just a few minutes ago.

  “No.” I shook my head again, though tears threatened to rush to the surface.

  He sighed, apparently waiting to see if I’d change my mind. When I said nothing more, he nodded. “Okay. Consider this your warning. Next time will be detention.”

  Head bowed, hair spilling into my face, I whispered, “I understand.”

  “Are you okay to go back to class, or would you like to speak to one of the guidance counselors, maybe?”

  I jerked my head up, eyes wide. “No!” I added in a lower tone, “No, thank you. I don’t need to talk to a counselor.”

  He nodded again. “All right then. The secretary will give you a pass to go to your classroom.”

  Rising, I pasted a half-smile on my face. “Thank you,” I responded dully, before walking out to collect my pass.

  I had to make it through the rest of the day somehow. Maybe I could get Eli to talk to me, to listen. The thought of losing him for good was unbearable.

  As I stepped off the school bus down the block from my house, a light rain began to fall. It fit my mood, as though even the sky felt my pain and was crying for me, since I’d run out of tears hours ago.

  The loud metal swoosh of the door closing behind me seemed to mimic my life. Sounds carried through the open bus windows, happy chatter and laughter that I wanted to cover my ears and block out.

  As I walked along the cracked sidewalk, I stared at the shadows cast by the giant maples looming over me. It reminded me of the first day I’d met Eli. The trees, the sidewalk, this street, the lost feeling.

  Pain built in my chest until I was sure it would explode. He’d dodged me the rest of the day, not even showing up for lunch, so I hadn’t been able to try to explain things to him.

  Sarah had tried to cheer me up, telling me how Jake hadn’t stopped talking about me since the date. Right now, I couldn’t even think about that. Sure, being with Jake that night had been a lot of fun. He made me feel special.

  But Eli? Eli felt like a piece of me. He’d always been there. Cutting him out of my life would be like removing an arm or a leg. I couldn’t even imagine it. But the way things stood, I also couldn’t imagine how he would ever forgive me so we could move past all the crap I’d done. I wished I’d never sent that freaking, stupid friend request.

  I looked up hopefully as I passed his driveway. No sign of his car. Closed garage door, so no way to tell if he was home. I thought about going up to his door and knocking, but fear stopped me. Maybe I should give him a little time.

  I’d hurt him, and he probably thought the latest messages from Kelli were how I felt, that I didn’t want to see him anymore, especially after the little show Jake and I put on in front of him in the driveway.

  I pulled my front door open. Crawling into bed sounded perfect. Offering a half-hearted wave to my dad as I passed the kitchen, I called out, “I’m going to get started on my homework.” I didn’t want him to know anything was wrong.

  “Do you want a snack?” His voice carried my way as I hit the stairs.

  “No, I’m good, but thanks.” I yelled back over my shoulder.

  As I entered my room and dropped the heavy book bag on the floor inside the door, my eyes traveled to the closed laptop. I moaned. The whole plan caused nothing but trouble.

  Maybe I should try to message him through Facebook. He’d been willing to go along with it, even knowing the truth. Maybe he’d still listen that way. I needed him to understand what I did, and why I did it.

  I walked over to my desk and sat down. Opening the computer, I navigated to Kelli’s page and signed in. Just seeing it filled my mouth with a sour taste. To my surprise, there was already a message waiting for me. From Eli. He must have written it as soon as he got home from school.

  Hands trembling, I moved the mouse to click it open.

  I’m done with the games. I’m not going to pretend I’m not hurt. I am. I don’t understand why you would have done all of this just to go and date someone else. Maybe it is for the
best though. Maybe we’re just too close as friends to try to cross into something else. Maybe it’s my fault for not realizing what might have been possible sooner. But right now, I need some time. I need to figure out what’s going on in my head, and you need to figure out what’s going on in yours too. Because I saw the way he looked at you. And more importantly, I saw the way you looked at him when he dropped you off. You always looked at me like you cared, but never like that. And that’s probably my fault too. No matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you. Eli.

  I burst into tears. Because it felt like a goodbye, no matter what he said. I also cried because deep down, I was afraid he might be right.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Emma

  Curled up in bed later that evening, I tried to watch television, but couldn’t focus on anything on the screen. I pulled my thin sheet up around me, needing the comfort. Dusk outside, the moon only started to shine through the burnt sky. Crickets chirped in the yard, and a light breeze blew the curtains gently away from the screens in the window next to my bed.

  My parents had gone to a friend’s house for drinks after dinner. They rarely went out just the two of them, and I was relieved tonight was one of their rare couple-nights. I didn’t want to face their worried looks.

  Thirsty, I padded downstairs to get a bottle of water. I’d slipped into a pair of navy cotton shorts and one of Eli’s old baseball T-shirts. It hung ridiculously loose on me, but I loved it. One of my favorite sleep-tees, the letters of his last name and team number on the back had long ago faded from so many washings. He’d lent it to me about two years ago after we’d had a water fight in his back yard. I’d never given it back.

  Just as I twisted the plastic cap off, the doorbell rang. I froze.

  Maybe Mom and Dad left the party already, and forgot their house key or something. It seemed pretty early for them to be back, but I sure wasn’t expecting anyone. The kitchen tile chilled my bare feet as I tiptoed toward the door, gulping down some water on the way.